Content Caution: This blog talks about loneliness. If this is something you’re struggling with, you’re welcome to get in touch for advice on where you can go to find the help/support you need.
In the world we currently find ourselves in, it’s clear to see that loneliness in the context of mental illnesses can apply to anyone else struggling too. Loneliness is linked to a perceived feeling of isolation. If we take lockdown and COVID out of the frame for a second, it’s our emotional response when we feel alone. In some cases, this is psychological. It can be the sense that “you’re there but you’re not really there”. It is often a pain when deciding whether or not to meet other people thanks to the wandering mind – you might think you won’t enjoy the occasion if you are there, or that the others would enjoy it more if you weren’t there. These ideas aren’t at all useful- for starters we can’t read other people’s minds and also, we won’t know for sure what’s going to happen unless we give it a go.
This could also apply to things like zoom calls (or any other online alternatives) with friends or family. If you know someone who lives with a mental illness, it can be super useful to check in with them before a call as this can help take some of the anxiety out of the situation.
Particularly if you’re not worried as such about meeting up or meeting new people, there are still ways you can keep in contact with the outside world! I’ve included some ideas below:
– Get in touch with friends/family digitally
– Arrange a virtual quiz/movie night
– Consider joining an online class/group where you can meet other people
– Talk to someone about how you feel whether it’s a friend or professional, you might find others who feel the same and can relate
– Go for a walk in a public space where you can generally be around others (e.g. a park)
– Listen to a chatty podcast
– Join an online group chat
Sometimes we need the opposite of what we want: i.e. sometimes when we think we want to be alone, that’s the time we should be interacting with the people we love. This can be really hard – especially when we can’t meet up with people as freely as perhaps we could before coronavirus came into the picture. I know that I can get so comfortable with being alone that the thought of speaking to even my nearest and dearest fills me with dread. When I’ve spent some time away from social media or just from talking to others, I’ve found that easing myself “back into society” slowly really helps. This could involve messaging a couple of people before diving into a group chat, or texting someone before attempting to calling them. Of course, you only have to build up the things that you struggle with – you might be completely fine with messaging someone but could find it difficult to call them. You could write down a few smaller steps to getting to that goal – maybe you could send someone a voice message first, or schedule the first call to help you make it feel more organised.
Not only does everyone have different boundaries, but everyone also travels at different speeds so while this could take me weeks to do, it could take someone else days.
“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone” – Mandy Hale
Love and good vibes,
Amrit