Content Caution: this blog talks about the feelings and symptoms that can be associated with depression in some detail.
Depression is an umbrella term which can describe a whole range of severities of symptoms, emotions and circumstances.
Clinical depression is one of the more well-known mental illnesses but that doesn’t mean it’s understood by everyone. There’s no single cause for depression and under different circumstances, it can last for varying lengths of time.
People with depression may experience the following symptoms:
- Continuous low mood
- Low self-esteem
- No motivation/interest in things
- Lack of energy
- Disturbed sleep
- Changes in weight
Those who live with depression respond in different ways. There is both high-functioning and low-functioning depression. Those with high-functioning are able to handle their daily tasks despite how it may make them feel: this can sometimes be a coping mechanism as opposed to them simply being able to deal with their feelings. Those with low-functioning struggle: to get out of bed, to make themselves a meal, to have a shower. Both of these types are not a reflection of that person’s true self: it’s not as easy as just “controlling” it. Some also flitter between the 2 depending on how severe their feelings are.
It’s common for depression to go hand in hand with anxiety. Having both together is a nightmare. There are so many overlapping feelings and symptoms It’s feeling restless and exhausted, irritable and isolated, uninterested and full of worry. It’s so easy for both to feed each other and for you to end up feeling worse.
Depression for me is sometimes taking 2, 3, 4 hours just get out of bed in the morning: or giving up and spending the entire day unable to be anywhere but my bed. It’s sometimes going weeks without tidying my room until I have piles of things everywhere that I simply don’t have the energy to sort out. It’s going weeks without cleaning – with cobwebs building up in the corners, dust building up on surfaces, dirty clothes left unwashed. It’s feeling like I’m living in a dump and feeling like that’s where I belong to be.
Depression isn’t just in the way a person sounds when you speak to them, or in how they look emotionally when you see them. Depression takes over your life. It absorbs you, forms a cocoon around you and tells you that you’re safe with it in your presence. It tells you that you don’t need anyone else – either because they’re too good for you or because you only bring them down. It wraps you layer upon layer until you feel suffocated. It tells you to keep it a secret because no one else would understand. It knows that you won’t argue against it: that would take energy that you simply don’t have.
This being said, there are so many people who are living proof that you can get better. Although depression likes to make you think it’s in control, you do have the power to take back the reins. Recovery and bettering your mental health is not something that happens overnight – it takes weeks, months, years of dedication and strength. I don’t tell you this to scare you, I tell you because it gives you a goal: something to give you hope.
The most important thing to do if you think you’re living with depression is to speak to a professional. Although one route of treating depression is taking medication, there are many other methods of treatment too. I’m not a professional, so can’t speak from a medical point of view, but I am aware that It’s thought that for some people, depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance and this means that even if you receive treatment you will be learning how to live with your depression rather than “curing” it.
I believe in you, and I’ll continue to believe in you until you are able to believe in yourself.
Love and good vibes
Amrit