Trigger Warning: this blog talks about depression and anxiety and the impact they can have on someone
It has been a good few years since that ‘crash and burn episode’, I have made huge progress but I have to be truthful and say that I did fall over again a few times. This was mainly because I tried to come off my medication too soon, or I was trying to do too much. I have realized that it is important to listen to what your body is telling you. In my case it is a necessity! I take care to get enough rest and try not to over do physical activities. It is so tempting when you suddenly feel that you are awake and not in a daze like state that you want to rush around and use up the energy you have before it disappears again. Not a good idea if you end up in bed afterwards having to recover for a few days.
I began to realise that to feel good I had to ensure that my physical, mental and emotional state were all balanced. This takes time and effort – sleeping well, eating well, doing things that make me happy, it really is about self-preservation. I found that holistic therapies such as massage and Bowen were the things that helped me to relax and feel a little better.
I had other health issues to contend with too – removal of my thyroid and lifelong medication to get used to; a number of asthma attacks that led to hospital visits more steroids and a stronger inhaler; nerve conduction tests due to muscle pains; bulging discs in the neck and back, to name but a few!
Life goes on. One learns to adapt and learn how to cope better with situations. With experience comes a certain amount of wisdom! We realise when we can say ‘yes’, but we also learn to say ‘no’ too. You definitely learn to appreciate all the little things in life that make you smile – the colour of the sky, the feel of a breeze on your face, the hand of your child in yours.
I never realised just how much I loved the outdoors until recently. Even just having the sun shining on your face can feel so beautiful and soothing. As you begin to relax and switch the noisy buzz of life rushing on by, you begin to hear the sound of the birds or the wind in the trees – it is a wonderful way of grounding yourself to the Earth itself, of healing from within. You realise that by side stepping the ‘rat race’ you can still achieve all that you want to do – at your own pace. You are free to get lost in your own thoughts and you can most certainly savour the treasures that Earth itself bestows upon us.
Learning to live with any health issue – mental or physical, is a work in progress. It becomes a journey of self-discovery, of learning how our minds and bodies react in certain situations. As we become more accepting of who we are and what we are capable of, we begin to enjoy the journey a little more. It certainly helps to be more gentle and kinder in our self-assessments and more realistic in the expectations we should have of ourselves.
I still have bouts of deep apprehension when I feel scared to my core for no obvious reason. I have periods when flair ups of anxiety and panic attacks get the better of me and I have to make a retreat of sorts into my own shell. I am a work in progress. I shall continue to strive to do my best – by myself and others. I hope I always enjoy natures gifts and continue to appreciate all the wonderful things in my life. I certainly feel blessed and fortunate to be continuing my journey.